Why am I so sad? It’s like the tears have their own agenda. They know what I can’t tell myself and they’re taking the pain I refuse to feel with them. I can’t stop these tears, whatever was holding them back is gone and now all there’s two streams running down my face and trickling off of my chin. These tears are determined to escape and I’m helpless to stop them. I can’t do anything but cry for these unknown causes or do I know what I’m crying for and I’m just too pained to acknowledge it. I’m hiding in the bathroom sitting on the toilet running water in the sink so that he doesn’t here the sobs I’m helpless to stop. I cry and sob and after a couple minutes they’ve calmed enough that I wipe my tears and return to my living room. As soon as I get down the stairs and Asher sees me. He knows. “What’s wrong?” He asks “Nothing” I say. I try to move past him and reclaim my spot on the couch but he grabs me before I can sit. “Marley, what’s wrong?” He asks again. I look into his eyes but I can’t answer him. How can I tell him what’s wrong when I, myself do not even know? “Nothing” I say again and lay my head on his shoulder. I shouldn’t have done that. As soon as my head comfortably rests against his shoulders my eyes flood, the streams start, and the trickling begins.
June 7, 2012
Marley and Asher
This is something I started today. Unsure what I want to do with it but I like where it's going.
Why am I so sad? It’s like the tears have their own agenda. They know what I can’t tell myself and they’re taking the pain I refuse to feel with them. I can’t stop these tears, whatever was holding them back is gone and now all there’s two streams running down my face and trickling off of my chin. These tears are determined to escape and I’m helpless to stop them. I can’t do anything but cry for these unknown causes or do I know what I’m crying for and I’m just too pained to acknowledge it. I’m hiding in the bathroom sitting on the toilet running water in the sink so that he doesn’t here the sobs I’m helpless to stop. I cry and sob and after a couple minutes they’ve calmed enough that I wipe my tears and return to my living room. As soon as I get down the stairs and Asher sees me. He knows. “What’s wrong?” He asks “Nothing” I say. I try to move past him and reclaim my spot on the couch but he grabs me before I can sit. “Marley, what’s wrong?” He asks again. I look into his eyes but I can’t answer him. How can I tell him what’s wrong when I, myself do not even know? “Nothing” I say again and lay my head on his shoulder. I shouldn’t have done that. As soon as my head comfortably rests against his shoulders my eyes flood, the streams start, and the trickling begins.
Why am I so sad? It’s like the tears have their own agenda. They know what I can’t tell myself and they’re taking the pain I refuse to feel with them. I can’t stop these tears, whatever was holding them back is gone and now all there’s two streams running down my face and trickling off of my chin. These tears are determined to escape and I’m helpless to stop them. I can’t do anything but cry for these unknown causes or do I know what I’m crying for and I’m just too pained to acknowledge it. I’m hiding in the bathroom sitting on the toilet running water in the sink so that he doesn’t here the sobs I’m helpless to stop. I cry and sob and after a couple minutes they’ve calmed enough that I wipe my tears and return to my living room. As soon as I get down the stairs and Asher sees me. He knows. “What’s wrong?” He asks “Nothing” I say. I try to move past him and reclaim my spot on the couch but he grabs me before I can sit. “Marley, what’s wrong?” He asks again. I look into his eyes but I can’t answer him. How can I tell him what’s wrong when I, myself do not even know? “Nothing” I say again and lay my head on his shoulder. I shouldn’t have done that. As soon as my head comfortably rests against his shoulders my eyes flood, the streams start, and the trickling begins.
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